So you say you don't have the motivation to do stuff?
Tell you what, if you just try to run away from this problem,
You will fail pretty epically and pay a big price
Just look at the sad stories on premed101 forums...
Now that you recognizes this problem,
FACE IT! SOLVE IT!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough said.
The Plan is there, the system is there, it just needs a jump start.
Let's hope it comes to fruition.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
There is a problem.
You propose a solution.
You examine the solution carefully
to ensure high probability of success.
Then you implement the solution in a plan.
Then you follow the plan diligently.
Simple as that.
Things will change now.
For even to this day,
I have not unleashed the true power.
Instead, through neglect, exacerbating the inadequacy,
Qualifying magnitude of sucess,
Botching results worked so hard on,
Allowing others to surpass.
And I will succeed.
You propose a solution.
You examine the solution carefully
to ensure high probability of success.
Then you implement the solution in a plan.
Then you follow the plan diligently.
Simple as that.
Things will change now.
For even to this day,
I have not unleashed the true power.
Instead, through neglect, exacerbating the inadequacy,
Qualifying magnitude of sucess,
Botching results worked so hard on,
Allowing others to surpass.
And I will succeed.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Of Deleterious Results
Occam's Razor - absent of external information,
one should choose the option with the least number of assumptions
"Those who go aborrowing, go asorrowing" - Roughing it in a Bush
The one ahead in the race "feels" easier?
What if Confederation was not achieved?
What if the world is just slightly cooler?
What if I was still grade 3?
What if I had known?
What if I was mature enough?
What if there is more time?
Stop daydreaming, get on writing that essay!
Exam - 30 mins left!
------------------------------------------------------------------
In fact, confederation is essentially a pact. Without a pact, it could not live. For humanity sake, unilateral "Act" of any significant effect cannot and does not survive.
That journey is the prize? Define journey: the process, Define prize: the most rewarding, most valuable entity. Journey is the prize then.
To lend or not to lend? That is the question. Humans have developed altruism simply because cooperation in an probabilistic and sufficiently long run is better than selfishness. That does not, however, mean that local abnormalities are overridden. It's not as simple as an operator overload. Even that has problems.
one should choose the option with the least number of assumptions
"Those who go aborrowing, go asorrowing" - Roughing it in a Bush
The one ahead in the race "feels" easier?
What if Confederation was not achieved?
What if the world is just slightly cooler?
What if I was still grade 3?
What if I had known?
What if I was mature enough?
What if there is more time?
Stop daydreaming, get on writing that essay!
Exam - 30 mins left!
------------------------------------------------------------------
In fact, confederation is essentially a pact. Without a pact, it could not live. For humanity sake, unilateral "Act" of any significant effect cannot and does not survive.
That journey is the prize? Define journey: the process, Define prize: the most rewarding, most valuable entity. Journey is the prize then.
To lend or not to lend? That is the question. Humans have developed altruism simply because cooperation in an probabilistic and sufficiently long run is better than selfishness. That does not, however, mean that local abnormalities are overridden. It's not as simple as an operator overload. Even that has problems.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Exchange
From: me
To: <The Old Coalition>
Subject: In response to various inquiries.
Mailed-by: gmail.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Heh so Victor slipped away from his high standards? How COULD he...
I'm sure the short stories aren't that hard though. Support your BS-ed theme/blah with quotes and voila, you pass.
But I guess it's the kind of things that either you get it or you don't.
New boarders? Yes I've heard about them (not from you). Don't know much though, but apparently aren't too good.
Math is always easy for me. I can sleep through all classes and get close to perfect. It's not like I'm learning anything new.
Even Math 12 is nothing new really; you slowly learn everything over time, and when you get in, you already know it all.
As for here... there aren't really much going on though.
English is definitely different - nothing could beat Ms. Fraser's rants. I actually somehow miss those. Here it just simply expects you to know everything. But then we are reading "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" again in 2nd term. There are also some random useless grammar practices - I'm sure I don't need that, but if it gets me more marks, then why not?
Science: chem 10 is simple, really.
Socials - like we never really learn anything in class and are supposed to learn everything ourselves from the textbook, and random quizzes pop up where the teacher never talked about the material. There are also annoying long historical documents and essays to read. It's easy though, just do the work and 100% comes.
Math... it's easy. However, the math teachers here are either incompetent or hostile to me. The ones that are nice, can't do anything. The ones that are good (ie BC calc teacher) refuses to answer or give advice on my questions, like I'm intruding their life or something.
I'm also taking Japanese, which is really easy, since you practically learn nothing. I'm taking AP Computer Science. It's easy for me anyways. And at last there is PE. It's easier to get marks though, or as far as I can tell.
There is also other annoyances around here.
The desk in my boarding room, for example, is so small that you can't put anything else beside a desk lamp and a laptop.
The laundry service is awful - some commercial place that produces weird-smelling clothes - and you don't have access to laundry machines inside the house, and worst of all, it takes 2-3 days. They also hire cleaning staff to wash your bed sheets and clean your room for you. Sounds a lot like baby-sitting. Even then my roommate's stuff generates smell (or his armpit stench when he comes back from whatever sports he was doing) and I end up having to deal with it.
For prep, there aren't any libraries or computer labs to go to - you have to stay in your room working on that minuscule desk with a bunch of people distracting you, say from next door. AND we have house meetings every single day, wasting our time. The house parents are not as nice, don't care about anything, and ruthlessly screw people around.
The people here... *sigh* too many Chinese around. The house is full of them - rich Chinese kids - some of them are nice, but some of them racist towards Taiwanese. In whatever situation, I refuse to allow erosion of my nationality. Plus I hate Beijing accent. There is also some annoying white kids.
As a result of all these, I go home every weekend. Guess what? Nobody is every at home either. It's a hassle. And to conserve my financial budget, I cook every single meal. I also do all my laundry as I've always done before. PLUS I have home management responsibilities.
The school building is also convoluted as well. They try to cram everything - gym, swimming pool, 30 or so classrooms, office, cafeteria - into a single place. As a result, it's a great maze that is time consuming to move around, especially if your locker is on one end and the cafeteria is on the other. Also you have to wear blazers 3 days a week and have stupid long assemblies.
That's enough complaining. There is plenty more problems around, plus that it's a school full of boys and only boys.
I guess it's training. Every time I get used to one place, I am pulled out and unwillingly switched into another. Since the start of the year, almost every plan has been failing, despite giving 2x necessary time. I just want to rest and not having to be forced to do A, B, C, D, E, and get frustrated when failing to have enough motivation to do them. THIS challenge is the ONLY advantage I could think of for moving to St. George's, which otherwise is a totally useless, time-wasting decision (btw, previous family conditions don't apply - they've changed).
To: <The Old Coalition>
Subject: In response to various inquiries.
Mailed-by: gmail.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Heh so Victor slipped away from his high standards? How COULD he...
I'm sure the short stories aren't that hard though. Support your BS-ed theme/blah with quotes and voila, you pass.
But I guess it's the kind of things that either you get it or you don't.
New boarders? Yes I've heard about them (not from you). Don't know much though, but apparently aren't too good.
Math is always easy for me. I can sleep through all classes and get close to perfect. It's not like I'm learning anything new.
Even Math 12 is nothing new really; you slowly learn everything over time, and when you get in, you already know it all.
As for here... there aren't really much going on though.
English is definitely different - nothing could beat Ms. Fraser's rants. I actually somehow miss those. Here it just simply expects you to know everything. But then we are reading "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" again in 2nd term. There are also some random useless grammar practices - I'm sure I don't need that, but if it gets me more marks, then why not?
Science: chem 10 is simple, really.
Socials - like we never really learn anything in class and are supposed to learn everything ourselves from the textbook, and random quizzes pop up where the teacher never talked about the material. There are also annoying long historical documents and essays to read. It's easy though, just do the work and 100% comes.
Math... it's easy. However, the math teachers here are either incompetent or hostile to me. The ones that are nice, can't do anything. The ones that are good (ie BC calc teacher) refuses to answer or give advice on my questions, like I'm intruding their life or something.
I'm also taking Japanese, which is really easy, since you practically learn nothing. I'm taking AP Computer Science. It's easy for me anyways. And at last there is PE. It's easier to get marks though, or as far as I can tell.
There is also other annoyances around here.
The desk in my boarding room, for example, is so small that you can't put anything else beside a desk lamp and a laptop.
The laundry service is awful - some commercial place that produces weird-smelling clothes - and you don't have access to laundry machines inside the house, and worst of all, it takes 2-3 days. They also hire cleaning staff to wash your bed sheets and clean your room for you. Sounds a lot like baby-sitting. Even then my roommate's stuff generates smell (or his armpit stench when he comes back from whatever sports he was doing) and I end up having to deal with it.
For prep, there aren't any libraries or computer labs to go to - you have to stay in your room working on that minuscule desk with a bunch of people distracting you, say from next door. AND we have house meetings every single day, wasting our time. The house parents are not as nice, don't care about anything, and ruthlessly screw people around.
The people here... *sigh* too many Chinese around. The house is full of them - rich Chinese kids - some of them are nice, but some of them racist towards Taiwanese. In whatever situation, I refuse to allow erosion of my nationality. Plus I hate Beijing accent. There is also some annoying white kids.
As a result of all these, I go home every weekend. Guess what? Nobody is every at home either. It's a hassle. And to conserve my financial budget, I cook every single meal. I also do all my laundry as I've always done before. PLUS I have home management responsibilities.
The school building is also convoluted as well. They try to cram everything - gym, swimming pool, 30 or so classrooms, office, cafeteria - into a single place. As a result, it's a great maze that is time consuming to move around, especially if your locker is on one end and the cafeteria is on the other. Also you have to wear blazers 3 days a week and have stupid long assemblies.
That's enough complaining. There is plenty more problems around, plus that it's a school full of boys and only boys.
I guess it's training. Every time I get used to one place, I am pulled out and unwillingly switched into another. Since the start of the year, almost every plan has been failing, despite giving 2x necessary time. I just want to rest and not having to be forced to do A, B, C, D, E, and get frustrated when failing to have enough motivation to do them. THIS challenge is the ONLY advantage I could think of for moving to St. George's, which otherwise is a totally useless, time-wasting decision (btw, previous family conditions don't apply - they've changed).
Friday, October 30, 2009
Continuous Everywhere, Differentiable Nowhere
------------------------------------------------------------
It's been a while, or it seems like a while.
In fact, time seems to pass by rather quickly.
One month of experiment puts everything back to the drawing board.
No, sir. The fundamental problem so loathed by all of us still exists, under the abyssal weight of various masks, responsibilities, attempts of burial, and the worst of all - the sheer complexity.
For far too long, the regimen proved unsuccessful. There was no purpose, no motivation, and no action. Or rather, arbitrary plans that does not seem to go anywhere. It was changing everyday, failing in every conceivable way, and crippled to the point of sheer inefficiency. Events happen at a speed such that it is impossible to discern the problems without begetting new problems through the delays, until now.
Now, to put aside the attempts of burial, dig up all the skeletons, analyze, and clear the blockade ahead.
Happy Halloween.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Of Catchers and Butterflies
"... I didn't care though ... I felt so damn happy,
if you want to know the truth. I don't know why..."
- The Catcher in the Rye, p213
"It's called the butterfly effect.
You step on a few butterflies,
and some time later, people die."
- Angela Petrelli (in Heroes)
------------------------------------------------------------
You see, there is a problem with this situation. We think we are going in the right decision. We think we are masters of ourselves. How so? Is there such thing as "Free Will?" What have I done over the years?
Look, here is me, a person that devotes to knowledge, math, and computers. A person that participates in no sports team because of not competent enough, which is due to lack of perseverance. A person that is socially inclined. Outcast. Defend vehemently against the superficial. A person, not even participating in any community service. What have I done?
There is always people around you that at least attempt to push you, help you, but I am just too ignorant to realize that fact. Is it planned? Am I destined this way anyways? Is it that I have just not enough free will to shape my day? There must be a reason why so many people are ignorant, moving on with life without knowing what lies ahead. There must be a reason why I stand here today. Rationality. Pursue of knowledge. The right path or the pitfall? For the very least there is something missing.
Why am I alone, feeling need of companionship? For these years why never has anything come? Some do come close, then go away. I rely on myself. Is myself reliable? Am I stepping on too many butterflies that I don't even know of?
Why so many people have a niche in sports? Community service? Clubs? Why not me? People stand up to do stuff. I should stand up as well. Problem is I don't have the ability. Is it truely too late? Me, 15 years old, too late? That's BS. Is this the problem? That I delve too much into my stuff that I alienated other important aspects and ability? That the achievements of other people in these area are slowly corroding away my fortress in this world? That I begin to shrink in importance and the fundamental layer I hold has begun to be attacked? If so then I need defense. I need to fight back. NOW.
There is still time.
if you want to know the truth. I don't know why..."
- The Catcher in the Rye, p213
"It's called the butterfly effect.
You step on a few butterflies,
and some time later, people die."
- Angela Petrelli (in Heroes)
------------------------------------------------------------
You see, there is a problem with this situation. We think we are going in the right decision. We think we are masters of ourselves. How so? Is there such thing as "Free Will?" What have I done over the years?
Look, here is me, a person that devotes to knowledge, math, and computers. A person that participates in no sports team because of not competent enough, which is due to lack of perseverance. A person that is socially inclined. Outcast. Defend vehemently against the superficial. A person, not even participating in any community service. What have I done?
There is always people around you that at least attempt to push you, help you, but I am just too ignorant to realize that fact. Is it planned? Am I destined this way anyways? Is it that I have just not enough free will to shape my day? There must be a reason why so many people are ignorant, moving on with life without knowing what lies ahead. There must be a reason why I stand here today. Rationality. Pursue of knowledge. The right path or the pitfall? For the very least there is something missing.
Why am I alone, feeling need of companionship? For these years why never has anything come? Some do come close, then go away. I rely on myself. Is myself reliable? Am I stepping on too many butterflies that I don't even know of?
Why so many people have a niche in sports? Community service? Clubs? Why not me? People stand up to do stuff. I should stand up as well. Problem is I don't have the ability. Is it truely too late? Me, 15 years old, too late? That's BS. Is this the problem? That I delve too much into my stuff that I alienated other important aspects and ability? That the achievements of other people in these area are slowly corroding away my fortress in this world? That I begin to shrink in importance and the fundamental layer I hold has begun to be attacked? If so then I need defense. I need to fight back. NOW.
There is still time.
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