一直以來都以為我總是跟上了科技的腳步
知道最新最快的東西
畢竟整天在看這方面的新聞
可是才發現，這個根本是太廣了
GTX 295+ 出了那麼久既然也一無所知 ( 還以為 9800 是最好的 )
Core i7 也是被蒙在谷底
DDR3 RAM 也開始慢慢的普及 ...
網頁的
還有什麼 HTML5/CSS3/ECMAscript2
一直以來都以為只是紙上談兵 ( 沒有流覽器支援 )
現在有了 IE8, FF3.5, Safari 4, Chrome 2
好像原本遙不可及的理念已經開始慢慢實現了
Flash CS3, CS4 支援的 AS3.0 也是玩玩就放棄了
沒想到已經廣泛利用 ( 例如 youtube )
曾經看著 Firefox 3.0 從 beta 到 RC 到 Release 的我
現在連 3.5 也好一陣子都不知道已經出了 ( 目前還在用 3.0 )
Chrome 也是，
之前才看到剛出，現在已經是 2.0 了
寫程式的
Visual Studio 2008 出了那麼久了
我還在用 2003
Java 也沒在用，不知又有什麼新的
Windows 7 要出了，
我連 Vista 用的都不算久
能有什麼是比較穩定的嗎 ?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
莫拉克
" 阿 ! 那個金帥飯店要倒了 ! "
" 好耶好耶，大家一起來倒數 "
" 五、四、三、二、一 "
" 哇 ~ 帥喔 "
殊不知他們阻礙道路，讓救災耽誤了...
-------------------------------------------------------
剛剛看了新聞心裡有不少感受。
各地方變成水都，土石流竄，有點嚇人。
連大愛台的新聞主播都講到哭了。
雖然從小就看慣那種畫面，
只是，
以前都有點幸災樂禍，
看到橋斷的那一刻很開心，
看到災民哭的場景會忍不住的笑。
現在總覺得很慚愧；
不知道為什麼我會禁不住那種幸災樂禍的笑。
是事情永遠不會發生在我身上的觀念嗎 ?
還是天真的以為我能夠堅強去當第一者面對而不會哭?
很多事情都是碰到了才發覺自己多麼地無能。
真希望以後可以以更成熟的角度來面對事情。
只是，我也擔心我會不會就這樣變得太嚴肅 ?
畢竟生活是要快樂的而不是嚴肅的...
現在覺得好希望能當志工去協助救災，
畢竟身在慈濟家庭卻無能為力 ...
那麼多人動員了，
我們卻還在家裡無所事事，
整天吵雞毛小事
( 也沒有吵太久啦，只是意見不合就禁不住大小聲一兩句 )
( 脾氣真的要控制 )
唉 ...
" 好耶好耶，大家一起來倒數 "
" 五、四、三、二、一 "
" 哇 ~ 帥喔 "
殊不知他們阻礙道路，讓救災耽誤了...
-------------------------------------------------------
剛剛看了新聞心裡有不少感受。
各地方變成水都，土石流竄，有點嚇人。
連大愛台的新聞主播都講到哭了。
雖然從小就看慣那種畫面，
只是，
以前都有點幸災樂禍，
看到橋斷的那一刻很開心，
看到災民哭的場景會忍不住的笑。
現在總覺得很慚愧；
不知道為什麼我會禁不住那種幸災樂禍的笑。
是事情永遠不會發生在我身上的觀念嗎 ?
還是天真的以為我能夠堅強去當第一者面對而不會哭?
很多事情都是碰到了才發覺自己多麼地無能。
真希望以後可以以更成熟的角度來面對事情。
只是，我也擔心我會不會就這樣變得太嚴肅 ?
畢竟生活是要快樂的而不是嚴肅的...
現在覺得好希望能當志工去協助救災，
畢竟身在慈濟家庭卻無能為力 ...
那麼多人動員了，
我們卻還在家裡無所事事，
整天吵雞毛小事
( 也沒有吵太久啦，只是意見不合就禁不住大小聲一兩句 )
( 脾氣真的要控制 )
唉 ...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
快健 2009
07/14 回精舍的那天 ...
德悅師父：聽說你電腦很強 ? 台灣素食營養學會的網站是你做的 ?
我 ：還好吧，網站確實是我做的。
師父：像你這種人才一定要來營隊幫忙。
我 ：我 ? 營隊 ?
師父：就是快樂健康營阿，看你要參加幾梯，我先去問一下暘師父。
我 ：...
十分鐘後
師父：我已經拜託暘師父幫你插隊進去了，這可是難得的機會喔
師父：所以答應我在這裡學習之後要去廈門或是回加拿大帶營隊喔
我 ：讓我想想好了
師父：什麼想想，我看今天就不要回台北了，留下來好了
我 ：我還是回去拿行李和問媽媽一下吧
師父：好，要快去快回喔，最好明天就來 !
我 ：...
----------------------------------------------------------------
這是第一次。好久沒有參與慈濟的團體了。
我總是覺得有那種奇妙的感覺 - 是每個人表現出來的向心力和意志力嗎?
來快健有那種不同的快樂 - 讓人好想一直留在那裏 ...
以前都是孤立奮戰，都沒有人能真的 push 我。
在快健...
我來快健是值得了。
好想念那裏的人喔
希望以後可以繼續回來精進 ( 雖然有這個想法是很恐怖的 ... )
also hope to write more.
德悅師父：聽說你電腦很強 ? 台灣素食營養學會的網站是你做的 ?
我 ：還好吧，網站確實是我做的。
師父：像你這種人才一定要來營隊幫忙。
我 ：我 ? 營隊 ?
師父：就是快樂健康營阿，看你要參加幾梯，我先去問一下暘師父。
我 ：...
十分鐘後
師父：我已經拜託暘師父幫你插隊進去了，這可是難得的機會喔
師父：所以答應我在這裡學習之後要去廈門或是回加拿大帶營隊喔
我 ：讓我想想好了
師父：什麼想想，我看今天就不要回台北了，留下來好了
我 ：我還是回去拿行李和問媽媽一下吧
師父：好，要快去快回喔，最好明天就來 !
我 ：...
----------------------------------------------------------------
這是第一次。好久沒有參與慈濟的團體了。
我總是覺得有那種奇妙的感覺 - 是每個人表現出來的向心力和意志力嗎?
來快健有那種不同的快樂 - 讓人好想一直留在那裏 ...
以前都是孤立奮戰，都沒有人能真的 push 我。
在快健...
我來快健是值得了。
好想念那裏的人喔
希望以後可以繼續回來精進 ( 雖然有這個想法是很恐怖的 ... )
also hope to write more.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Terminus
"Sire, we must change the modus operandi"
"But..."
"But but but ... but what? The truth is not your enemy!"
"..."
"Listen, It Has To Be Done. Ok?"
And then there was a flash of white light...
It was too late.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry to betray you all.
I am sorry to leave.
I feel guilty.
Because, I dug my own graveyard in a sense.
Nothing more can be said.
However, I shall hope for reunion.
After one year of absence
I shall attempt to resurrect and reunite.
Let us not terminate communication.
This is not the last call... yet.
"But..."
"But but but ... but what? The truth is not your enemy!"
"..."
"Listen, It Has To Be Done. Ok?"
And then there was a flash of white light...
It was too late.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry to betray you all.
I am sorry to leave.
I feel guilty.
Because, I dug my own graveyard in a sense.
Nothing more can be said.
However, I shall hope for reunion.
After one year of absence
I shall attempt to resurrect and reunite.
Let us not terminate communication.
This is not the last call... yet.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
What more do you want
"I want money. I want girls. I want friends." - A person in boarding (whose name I would rather not reveal)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you want? What more do you want? Stick with the status quo! (ironically reminding me of the movie Highschool Musical) Look at what you have, not what you want, or the world is not enough! Constantly living in a depressed mood is not good. Why? When you are the person that can make yourself happy, full of energy, positive, everything you could possibly want.
Just remember, 船到橋頭自然直. Don't worry about anything. Be happy!
Just one last note: you gotta let out what's wrong with you, you know. If you can't rationalize things yourself like I do myself, then you should let others help. Sometimes the most difficult tensions in your brain can be solved by a 3rd person in a blink. This is because your brain is unable to broaden thoughts due to the confined perception.
I have a lot of problems, but I rationalize them myselves to get rid of the tensions before I solve the problems for long term. I create a will to solve them. I create a positive environment, and when I need help rationalization, I ask my family, which is 100% transparent.
You can ask me. I'm always there for you. I do not want to see you suffer. I want everyone to be happy and well-lived, just as I consider I am.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you want? What more do you want? Stick with the status quo! (ironically reminding me of the movie Highschool Musical) Look at what you have, not what you want, or the world is not enough! Constantly living in a depressed mood is not good. Why? When you are the person that can make yourself happy, full of energy, positive, everything you could possibly want.
Just remember, 船到橋頭自然直. Don't worry about anything. Be happy!
Just one last note: you gotta let out what's wrong with you, you know. If you can't rationalize things yourself like I do myself, then you should let others help. Sometimes the most difficult tensions in your brain can be solved by a 3rd person in a blink. This is because your brain is unable to broaden thoughts due to the confined perception.
I have a lot of problems, but I rationalize them myselves to get rid of the tensions before I solve the problems for long term. I create a will to solve them. I create a positive environment, and when I need help rationalization, I ask my family, which is 100% transparent.
You can ask me. I'm always there for you. I do not want to see you suffer. I want everyone to be happy and well-lived, just as I consider I am.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Finale
"No matter what happens, I will stand tall. I will look at the world in the face and live life to the fullest extent, because nothing matters anymore. Everything is composed of blobs of energy"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Face it, I'm leaving. This event is life. Sometimes, the things you do, "it just has to be done." It's not bad to end the wonderful chapter of life in SMUS on a graceful period.
This is the time that you must venture into unknown waters, carrying the burden of family responsibility, as others have not quailed for once, to stand tall and face them. And you will remember, everything; everything you've done. You can be more. You will stand tall, and look at the world in the face. You write your own history, and it is the only way to live a happy life, for you will see what accomplishments you've made, and not regret what you did not do. I know you can.
Expand your territory. Conquer from your fortress, through confidence and rationality, and let not one single slip discourage you. Life is wonderful. Being alive and happy is itself justified for everything, and I repeat, EVERYTHING you do, EVERYTHING you will do, and EVERYTHING you can possibly do.
Live far and wide. Think universal, and be happy thereafter. For everything you have is enough to take you through the FINALE.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Face it, I'm leaving. This event is life. Sometimes, the things you do, "it just has to be done." It's not bad to end the wonderful chapter of life in SMUS on a graceful period.
This is the time that you must venture into unknown waters, carrying the burden of family responsibility, as others have not quailed for once, to stand tall and face them. And you will remember, everything; everything you've done. You can be more. You will stand tall, and look at the world in the face. You write your own history, and it is the only way to live a happy life, for you will see what accomplishments you've made, and not regret what you did not do. I know you can.
Expand your territory. Conquer from your fortress, through confidence and rationality, and let not one single slip discourage you. Life is wonderful. Being alive and happy is itself justified for everything, and I repeat, EVERYTHING you do, EVERYTHING you will do, and EVERYTHING you can possibly do.
Live far and wide. Think universal, and be happy thereafter. For everything you have is enough to take you through the FINALE.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Quandary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Jason, this is not Gr 8 anymore. You can't just sit there, read your books, and everything is going to be alright. You can do more. They (pointing to upstairs) are watching us - for one of us to step up. Yes, one of us. Not them, them, or them (pointing at our friendly neighbors). We can help each other."
- Frank (my roommate)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My roommate has claimed to attempt to "help me" in, say, school life and how I'm viewed socially. I also appreciated him and many others for pointing out my personality flaws and such. However, right now I'm torn in a dilemma between who I naturally am and who I'm supposed to be. Obviously stalling is easy, but it won't get you anywhere. The sooner I choose a path, the sooner I will reach my destiny, assuming it's a correct path.
For many months I've been criticized on being:
- Generally socially inept
Why?
- Lacking confidence and prolonged response when confronted w/ questions
- Can't take jokes (now there's a fine line between joke and bully)
- EQ problems (angered easily)
- Not playing on any sports team
- Otaku (far from it actually)
- Book-worm (in fact I actually read very little book, but...)
- A follower, rather than a leader
- The person that punches first in an argument/joke/provocation
- Swears too much (as in 24/7)
- and the list goes on...
AND as part of the project to help me, I am supposed to overcome these problems over time. Why do they try to do this? They claimed they do this because they like me as a friend. I would like to believe it, but to this date I'm not sure if it is perfectly entirely 100% true. Their argument was that: if they don't like me, they will ignore me like the two Americans. The argument is sound. On the level, I clearly rest above them, how much? I am uncertain.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps I can reach a compromise, IF I can analyze carefully and not letting my emotions
cloud my judgment. I need to be as objective as possible.
Let's examine some of the points:
- Lacking confidence and prolonged imprecise response when confronted with certain questions
To a certain degree I can spew out a yes or no to that type of question easily. But what if the question is, say, "Who do you think is hot in Gr 9?" My response typically would be, "I have no real opinion." since I do not analyze girls. However, then, I would be bombarded with statements such as "either you are gay or you MUST have an opinion. If you don't have an opinion, then you like (insert name of some ugly girl her)?" My emotional panic sends me into an awkward state in which I speak in futility in response. I need thought to respond clearly and in reflection to my true position on a subject. However, the longer I take to think, the more people pick on me, and the more I get nervous, and I get into a vicious cycle that breaks off in a wave of frustration.
One of the underlying cause of this symptom is that through my short experience in life, I have been worried about the perception of me in people's eyes. It's not really "who I am" and "what I do" anymore. I'm really, thinking deeply, being shaped by the people around me, but that is another issue that will be discussed later. Anyways, I am worried that if I answer wrong, I would be ridiculed right into my face and wear the imaginary coat of shame throughout the day, and beyond, if I happen to experience through "a series of unfortunate events."
The irony is then, since I am worried about what people think if I answer wrong, by instinct, I would naturally spew out the "universal uncertainty answer" in which I give a neutral position that does not answer the question at all. As a slow learner socially, after all those months, I still haven't deployed the fact that the universal neutral position will inadvertently cause similar questions to be asked again and again because it is supposedly fun to ask me because I refuse to give a definite answer and then picking on me is also fun. This vicious cycle continues on.
Since this may be after all just an experience through high school and after the three years, will be totally gone as everybody matures, perhaps I can bare with it for a few more years? OR I could correct this fundamental problem once and for all by identifying and solving the underlying problems.
Thus, let's examine what the fundamental problems are: (a) I worry too much about my face, and (b) I have difficulty deciding when a neutral position shall be given and when a definitive opinion shall be given.
Perhaps, those problems will come back to hit me in life if I do not resolve them now, and that is the ultimate decision I have to make in regards to the original symptom.
- Can't take jokes (now there's a fine line between a joke and an abuse)
Puppies A, B, and C play with each other. A bits, B, who bites back, and C bites both. Then they take a bigger bite. Oops it's starting to hurt. C has 2 choices, bites back equally hard, or exit the heated debate. It will depend on C's emotional management. Exiting the debate would be the better choice, but only comes with a good, calm mind.
It has been extremely easy and fun to pick on me because I have the inability to fight back. I have been known to get irritated quickly when, say, my frustration when playing a game is fueled by intentional picking.
People love picking on me, and they will do it no matter what. I don't do it. I don't appreciate it. It's childish and immature. I had wish that they would stop - for a long time already - like 9 years, and I'm finally just learning that changing my own behavior is much easier than attempting to police others'.
However, the real question comes to HOW to stop people from doing this, and quick too. To do this would require emotional training. The trick is to remain calm and unmoved. Like many cases, your mood should remain calm and rational no matter what situation you are in. Appear sturdy and unprovoked is the key - and do not respond to the people that is attempting to provoke you - they want attention.
At least that's what comes out of my mind right now.
Let's see if they actually work - time into clinical trials (jk).
"Jason, this is not Gr 8 anymore. You can't just sit there, read your books, and everything is going to be alright. You can do more. They (pointing to upstairs) are watching us - for one of us to step up. Yes, one of us. Not them, them, or them (pointing at our friendly neighbors). We can help each other."
- Frank (my roommate)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My roommate has claimed to attempt to "help me" in, say, school life and how I'm viewed socially. I also appreciated him and many others for pointing out my personality flaws and such. However, right now I'm torn in a dilemma between who I naturally am and who I'm supposed to be. Obviously stalling is easy, but it won't get you anywhere. The sooner I choose a path, the sooner I will reach my destiny, assuming it's a correct path.
For many months I've been criticized on being:
- Generally socially inept
Why?
- Lacking confidence and prolonged response when confronted w/ questions
- Can't take jokes (now there's a fine line between joke and bully)
- EQ problems (angered easily)
- Not playing on any sports team
- Otaku (far from it actually)
- Book-worm (in fact I actually read very little book, but...)
- A follower, rather than a leader
- The person that punches first in an argument/joke/provocation
- Swears too much (as in 24/7)
- and the list goes on...
AND as part of the project to help me, I am supposed to overcome these problems over time. Why do they try to do this? They claimed they do this because they like me as a friend. I would like to believe it, but to this date I'm not sure if it is perfectly entirely 100% true. Their argument was that: if they don't like me, they will ignore me like the two Americans. The argument is sound. On the level, I clearly rest above them, how much? I am uncertain.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps I can reach a compromise, IF I can analyze carefully and not letting my emotions
cloud my judgment. I need to be as objective as possible.
Let's examine some of the points:
- Lacking confidence and prolonged imprecise response when confronted with certain questions
To a certain degree I can spew out a yes or no to that type of question easily. But what if the question is, say, "Who do you think is hot in Gr 9?" My response typically would be, "I have no real opinion." since I do not analyze girls. However, then, I would be bombarded with statements such as "either you are gay or you MUST have an opinion. If you don't have an opinion, then you like (insert name of some ugly girl her)?" My emotional panic sends me into an awkward state in which I speak in futility in response. I need thought to respond clearly and in reflection to my true position on a subject. However, the longer I take to think, the more people pick on me, and the more I get nervous, and I get into a vicious cycle that breaks off in a wave of frustration.
One of the underlying cause of this symptom is that through my short experience in life, I have been worried about the perception of me in people's eyes. It's not really "who I am" and "what I do" anymore. I'm really, thinking deeply, being shaped by the people around me, but that is another issue that will be discussed later. Anyways, I am worried that if I answer wrong, I would be ridiculed right into my face and wear the imaginary coat of shame throughout the day, and beyond, if I happen to experience through "a series of unfortunate events."
The irony is then, since I am worried about what people think if I answer wrong, by instinct, I would naturally spew out the "universal uncertainty answer" in which I give a neutral position that does not answer the question at all. As a slow learner socially, after all those months, I still haven't deployed the fact that the universal neutral position will inadvertently cause similar questions to be asked again and again because it is supposedly fun to ask me because I refuse to give a definite answer and then picking on me is also fun. This vicious cycle continues on.
Since this may be after all just an experience through high school and after the three years, will be totally gone as everybody matures, perhaps I can bare with it for a few more years? OR I could correct this fundamental problem once and for all by identifying and solving the underlying problems.
Thus, let's examine what the fundamental problems are: (a) I worry too much about my face, and (b) I have difficulty deciding when a neutral position shall be given and when a definitive opinion shall be given.
Perhaps, those problems will come back to hit me in life if I do not resolve them now, and that is the ultimate decision I have to make in regards to the original symptom.
- Can't take jokes (now there's a fine line between a joke and an abuse)
Puppies A, B, and C play with each other. A bits, B, who bites back, and C bites both. Then they take a bigger bite. Oops it's starting to hurt. C has 2 choices, bites back equally hard, or exit the heated debate. It will depend on C's emotional management. Exiting the debate would be the better choice, but only comes with a good, calm mind.
It has been extremely easy and fun to pick on me because I have the inability to fight back. I have been known to get irritated quickly when, say, my frustration when playing a game is fueled by intentional picking.
People love picking on me, and they will do it no matter what. I don't do it. I don't appreciate it. It's childish and immature. I had wish that they would stop - for a long time already - like 9 years, and I'm finally just learning that changing my own behavior is much easier than attempting to police others'.
However, the real question comes to HOW to stop people from doing this, and quick too. To do this would require emotional training. The trick is to remain calm and unmoved. Like many cases, your mood should remain calm and rational no matter what situation you are in. Appear sturdy and unprovoked is the key - and do not respond to the people that is attempting to provoke you - they want attention.
At least that's what comes out of my mind right now.
Let's see if they actually work - time into clinical trials (jk).
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